Creation
The Story of the Creation of Terrene, as told by the Monks of Nez: 1:01 In the beginning of existence, there was Dennis. Dennis has always been, and will always be. 1:02 In the cosmic void of inky nothingness Dennis began to create, his reasoning for doing so is lost to history. 1:03 He created all things through what has come to be known as the “Big Whoop”. He began by creating Mother Vivé in a blanket of stars. 1:04 Mother Vivé became light and darkness, some say she is present whenever a newborn first opens their eyes. 1:05 Dennis saw it was quite good. 1:06 Dennis then created the Night Finger in a robe of earthen crust. The Night Finger created Terrene , and all other landmasses existing in the blanket of stars and light. 1:07 The Night Finger is said to be present during all acts of kleptomania and thievery, as he is said to enjoy the coveting of all the material objects he brought into existence. 1:08 Dennis saw that this was considerably less good. 1:09 Dennis then took in his hands the wind flowing across Terrene’s barren surface and formed Nez in the palm of his hand. Nez was born with nostrils wider than the trunks of the great oaks today. 1:10 Upon inhaling the arid, dusty air of the wasteland of Terrene, Nez sneezed a mighty vortex, his mucus became the water that flows along terrene’s surface. It is said that Nez is present whenever any creature sneezes. 1:11 Dennis saw that this was mildly disturbing. 1:12 And so Dennis planted the Oak of Susbs (Soo-Seh-Bus) on Terrene. The Oak grew in a time before time yet existed, and became a god in its own right. 1:13 The Oak fertilized Terrene with vegetation and fruit-bearing plants, as well as flowers and the insects which thrive among such places. 1:14 Upon seeing the bountiful fruits, Nez breathed life into the dust of Terrene. The dust formed animals and the races of dwarves, elves, humans, gnomes, Orcs, and halflings. He said to them, “Go! Celebrate in the first harvest, celebrate the work of Susbs!” 1:15 Dennis saw that this was getting quite convoluted. 1:16 It is then, in the Celebration of the First Harvest that Dennis created Phat Dragon in the midst of the chaotic rhythms consuming the forests of Terrene. 1:17 Phat Dragon became one with the party, and the party was one with Phat Dragon. Phat Dragon gave all of the creatures voices with which to sing. 1:18 It is said Phat Dragon is present within every alcoholic beverage. Such is why it makes terrible music sound extraordinary and ugly women look beautiful. 1:19 Dennis saw this was giving him quite the headache. 1:20 The unanticipated chaos and disorder that came with every step forward in his creation, led Dennis to believe he should have left the nothingness be. 1:21 It is for this reason that Dennis created the Wanderer. The Wander brought with him time along with age and death. 1:22 Through the Wanderer, the universe would slowly die and fall away as he returned all of the creatures to Nez’s enflamed nostrils until time itself faded away. 1:23 It is after this that Dennis fell asleep, seeing his creation as a chaotic mess. He would, perhaps, try it all over again after even the light and darkness ceased to exist.